Nicole Irving(She/Her/Hers)

Choosing a therapist—especially when sex or intimacy feels tense, confusing, or painful—can feel deeply vulnerable. Dr. Nicole Irving, PhD, is an AASECT certified sex therapist who works with individuals and couples in Virginia, DC, and Oregon who want to stop avoiding difficult intimacy conversations and start building relationships that feel emotionally and sexually sustainable.

Nicole works with couples and individuals for whom sex has become a source of pressure rather than connection. Many partners feel stuck navigating mismatched desire, sexual anxiety, performance concerns, or long-standing resentment that has quietly shut down intimacy, pleasure, and connection. Others care deeply for one another but don’t know how to talk about sex without conflict, shame, or shutdown. Nicole helps couples slow these cycles, understand what’s happening beneath the surface, and find safe tools to overcome these issues—both emotionally and sexually.

Nicole also works with couples and individuals exploring polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM. Some clients come in feeling unsure how to talk about boundaries or agreements. Others are navigating jealousy, desire differences, or trying to understand what they want without blowing up their relationship.

Her approach is sex-positive, collaborative, and grounded in real conversations—not jargon. Nicole helps her clients notice the patterns that keep them stuck, especially when conflict, avoidance, or past hurt has made intimacy feel tense or fragile. The work focuses on slowing things down, rebuilding trust and curiosity, alongside providing clear tools and actionable strategies to help clients make real changes both in and out of the therapy room.

As a certified sex therapist, Nicole also works with individuals navigating low or fluctuating desire, sexual shame, avoidance, trauma, and anxiety related to sex or intimacy. She supports clients who want to better understand their relationship with desire, their body, and their needs—especially when past experiences have made sex feel complicated or unsafe.